After I passed out, naturally, I dreamt I was in some kind of performance art school (about high school level). I was in an episode of Saturday Night Live, in the school, and I stole the show. Literally, I was so funny that nobody else could or would say their lines. One of the main characters for the skit looked like Martin Short and I totally ruined his part. The whole thing was really funny though, in a Groucho Marx kinda way - y'know, where someone says something and then he cracks wise.
Well, after the show I went to go tease the Martin Short guy about how much I shut him down and how much funnier I was than him. He was pissed as hell, far more pissed than I expected. Somehow we ended up on "the bus" (hey it's a dream) and he and I were still tossing insults back and forth, surrounded by our peers. I proposed a "laugh-off" where we could decide whether or not he was funnier than I was. He agreed but then when the crowd around us dissipated, I saw him go to the bus exit and start to cry. I think he knew he didn't stand a chance. Actually, I know he didn't stand a chance.
So he leaves the bus and his brothers are there to meet him. These guys are like fucking Russian dockworkers - walls of beef with little heads on top - and they are clearly upset about Martin (or whatever his name really was) crying. I try to explain to the brothers that I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, and I tried to make them laugh, but they weren't having it. Martin was egging them on to chop me up into hamburger with the cleavers they (suddenly) had. Needless to say, at that point I did a bugs bunny and split. I mean it. I was bugs bunny and I disappeared in a puff of smoke. and as I ran through cartoonland I bumped into Bluto and some scientist type. The scientist had a huge syringe and he jammed it into Bluto and deflated him. then he jammed it into me, presumably to give me Blutos strength (again, it's a dream) and I get so strong that I explode.
And then I wake up.
This is actually the second of two dreams, the other one being about my father (nothing like my real father) being shot and killed in a traffic accident dispute and my resulting life with a talking cat, my sister (nothing like my real sister), and a creepy guy who lived in dark places - and we were living on the construction site right next to where the murders took place. I say murders because my father shot and killed the other guy at the same time that he was killed. Oddly enough (nevermind the talking cat), the gunshot wounds were in super slow-motion closeup. I got to watch the skin peel back and the bullet flatten and burrow its way into his chest, and so on. It was a triumph of special effects.
Posted by Matt at June 19, 2003 12:22 PM