Ok, just a few things off the top of my heed now that it's no longer Friday the 13th. In no particular order,
1. If you want to impress someone with a photo of you, don't show them a picture of you standing next to someone who is much better looking. It ruins the intended effect.
2. If you call me and there is no answer, either my phone is off/silent mode/broken or I am unavailable. Unavailable might mean I am watching a movie, or washing dishes, or fucking your girlfriend. Who knows. The point is that I own my cellphone - it doesn't own me.
3. Don't be stingy. Especially with shit that is inexpensive.
4. "Shit doesn't come from butt-holes, it comes from bad people."
5. Please don't ask me stupid questions. If you ask a question that only requires me to raise an eyebrow and wait for you to come to the answer yourself, I ask that you have respect for the muscles that raise that eyebrow and not ask it. Give your brain a whirl and you'd be surprised how much quality fluff it puts out.
6. I am not you. I could give a stone-baked shit about how warm you feel if I am cold.
7. It's a gorgeous day. I'm going to get drunk and go out and get more drunk. If god smiles on me today, it will stay warm out. I'll bring my coat.
Posted by Matt at June 14, 2003 11:17 AM