I just got back from seeing "28 Days Later," a Danny Boyle movie. Let me make it clear that I have liked, if not loved, his other movies - Shallow Grave, Trainspotting, and The Beach. That said, here is my short list of major flaws with this miserable piece of celluloid. SPOILERS INSIDE!
1. Millions die in a horrible violent carnage, yet there is not one drop of blood anywhere in the city. Not even a stain?
2. The chimps who have the "rage" virus are about as enraged as Grandpa Simpson.
3. The entire hospital the main character wakes up in is empty (again, sans blood!) - but he wasn't assaulted because he was... asleep?
4. Millions of people were infected, yet we only see less than 10 in the major city the main character wakes up in. Where are the others?
5. Brainless zombies cannot take over an entire country, much less the world, in 28 days - no matter how fast they can run.
6. You can hit a zombie with a molotov cocktail and engulf it completely in flames, and it will keep coming atcha - but a baseball bat takes it down no problem.
7. The main character shuffles through the city with a bag of sodas and some money, yet never thinks to stop by a store and pick up clothes, or get in a car, or perhaps arm himself. (we'll come back to this)
8. Bloody freaks rising up out of a church full of corpses doesn't bother the main character a bit, but hitting a bloodthirsty priest in the head brings terror.
9. Almost all the characters we meet throughout the movie are introduced with full body protection, including facemask and goggles, yet after initial introductions, these prudent measures are never seen again. With an extremely contagious disease about, wouldn't 24-7 protection be a no-brainer?
10. The female lead explains the rules to the main character. "Never go anywhere alone" is the first rule. Guess what happens over and over again?
11. There is not a single gun to be seen until we meet the military in the 3rd act. I know England is gun control crazy, but not one gun? Especially considering the plot of there being mass riots and mayhem, surely there should be some sort of firearms about.
12. The main characters never arm themselves with anything but clubs and a machete. Nor do they ever get themselves protective gear. In fact, by the end of the movie they are deliberately stripping down and rejecting the use of available firearms!
13. The Taxi driver has a suit of full riot gear, including riot shield, when we meet him in his apartment, but when he decides to take the very dangerous trip through and outside the city, he dons comfortable cottonwear.
14. When the radio message is heard, "we are soldiers, come to us and we will protect you" nobody thinks twice about what a group of soldiers might do with two young women. After an apparent apocalypse. For that matter, no thought is given to what might happen to the men. Are the Brits really that trusting of their military? Don't they have "The Road Warrior" on DVD?
15. Corrolary to the above (and somewhat cheating), when the soldiers reveal their plan to gang-rape the women, the main characters are all surprised.
16. Why leave the city in the taxi? There is only a whole city's worth of vehicles available!
17. Why stop at a grocery store instead of a hardware store, or perhaps a sporting goods store to pick up weapons or protection? Perhaps so they can...
18. Have a picnic near some dark woods and an abandoned building and then...
19. Go to sleep with a nice big fire to attract the zombies, because...
20. We know that they are attracted to light since the first zombie attack comes because the main character has a lit candle which stands out like a sore thumb to these zombies, except for...
21. The taxi drivers house, where he has intelligently put out masses of christmas lights, presumably to attract survivors, despite that it also attracts the zombies that...
22. Climb over the pointless barracade that the taxi driver has elaborately set up at the base of the stairwell to his apartment...
23. On the 20th floor of the building, ensuring that any run for supplies involves maximal difficulty, or at least a premise for the harrowing chase of the two initial characters...
24. One of whom cannot make it up the stairs because he is too tired despite being a self-described bicycle messenger (the ideal profession, btw, if you want to be an expert stair climber) which can only be explained by...
25. His being unconscious in the hospital for 28 days without supervision, including sustenance, clothing, or cleaning.
26. The blood of these zombies is so virulent that a single drop falling in someone's eye (which happens, naturally) is enough to infect them, but every battle is bloodily fought wide-eyed, with plenty of open mouth screaming and...
27. The main character shaves his face without water, slicing his face to ribbons and ensuring maximal chance for infection and...
28. The soldier's leader keeps a blood-projectile-vomiting zombie alive, spraying blood everywhere and stands just out of arms reach to talk about why...
29. He is keeping it alive to see "how long it takes for an infected victim to die," despite that from all apparent information they are still human and would require food and water to live - particularly if they are physically hyperactive and able to run about freely because...
30. They are only restrained by a 30-foot long chain to the neck, as in the case of the captured zombie. I guess strapping him down is too inhumane.
31. The massive swarm of rats in the tunnel are "running from the zombies," except the zombies don't attack rats, and the rats themselves are infinitely more likely to be gorging themselves on the entire city's worth of abandoned food instead of running through the underground tunnel...
32. That is chosen as a better option than the multiple bridges the viewer has seen in slow pans multiple times to be completely clear and devoid of danger.
33. The taxicab they are driving manages to drive over multiple abandoned vehicles, with only a single flat tire to show for it. Don't try that at home, kids!
34. When the main characters arrive at the abandoned checkpoint, the soldiers are hiding in the bushes (separately, mind you, and in a place which they themselves describe as "teeming with zombies") and ...
35. Wait for one of our erstwhile troupe to get infected so they can promptly pump him full of bullets, after waiting for the dramatic "get away from me!!!!" scene.
36. The zombies are all ninjas before they attack. Not a single sound until they smash through a window or door and attack, at which point they start howling and screaming like banshees. Oh wait, unless it's later in the movie and there is a cameraman around, in which case they scream and gibber with no one around just to announce their presence when it doesn't matter anymore.
37. Despite that the soldiers have likely been killing zombies for nearly a month, when a couple of zombies show up in close quarters the soldiers forget they have automatic assault rifles and just run screaming, unlike...
38. The main character, who was a bicycle messenger mind you, who becomes fucking John Rambo in the 3rd act, complete with shirtless jungle survival skills and...
39. The Jason Vorhees ability to mysteriously and silently teleport from the ground - to a parapet - to behind a truck - to over a building, or wherever it is necessary to...
40. Kill a fully armed veteran soldier with his bare hands and...
41. Quickly and silently plant the body inside the jeep so as to distract the other soldier while he...
42. Runs like the bionic man back to the main compound...
43. Avoiding all the trip-mines and traps the soldiers have set and...
44. Frees the captive zombie by shooting the chain and...
45. Kills one of the soldiers with the bayonet on his stolen assault rifle and...
46. Leaves the assault rifle stuck in the man as if it were a spear! to go on to...
47. Easily avoid the de-chained zombie that has infected the other soldiers except for...
48. The final soldier who he drops down on from a hole in the ceiling and bloodily beats to death with his own hands, making him look and act exactly like an infected zombie, while the female lead picks up a dropped machete and...
49. Doesn't chop the hell out of him despite that he...
50. Doesn't say anything like "I'm not infected!" or "wait a second!" until after she swings and stops inches from his neck.
Frankly, I could go on but I think I'll just sit back and wait for Mr. Boyle to return my 9 dollars. I'll give him the nearly 2 hours as a courtesy.
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Good, solid advice. I'm taking notes.
Posted by: Matt at July 19, 2003 10:00 AMGet a life.
Posted by: at July 19, 2003 08:00 AM"slicing his face to ribbons". hahahah man I thought that was a riot until you wrote "Runs like the bionic man back to the main compound..."
that is when the soda spewed out of my nose and onto my monitor. good read.
I just bought the DVD but I have yet to watch it. I'll let you know how I feel after I watch it.
Posted by: d0g_p00p at July 17, 2003 06:03 PMOk I have to agree on most of your comments, they are valid. In fact I can even mention some other obvious flaws. **** SPOILERS ****
The main character meets up with two non-infected people who introduce him to the story and feed him candy (the only availabe food as they say), yet later on the taxi crew stocks up on endless food supplies from a local grocery store. You would think there would be a ton of grocery stores around a major city!!
Not only that, they run arround like idiots in the grocery store without any worry of zombies. And why were the store lights turned on?? Just 15 minutes ago they empasized how there is no electricity in the city, yet the store is fully lit with celing lights. BAH, stupid overlooked mistakes.
I guess I enjoyed the movie for seeing a large empty city and the the mistery that left enough creeps in me to last for 2 hours. I don't regret the $8 spent when comparing this to movies like the latest James Bond.
Paul
Posted by: Paul at July 17, 2003 04:28 AM