A friend of mine recently called me a masochist. I mean like seriously, not as a frivolous comment. I can only consider the truth in that as I deliberately tune my TV into "Temptation Island." Watching the first season of it was a guilty pleasure, mostly because it validated my often proclaimed and always condemned belief that given opportunity, most people will try and get-some get-some every fucking time. No pun intended.
Your girlfriend is going to be shown videos of you "cheating"!!! Doesn't stop them for a second. Nope, their attention span makes ADD victims seem like Oxford researchers. Amazing.
Put this together with watching Paradise Hotel, and you have a recipe for swiftly diminishing respect for humanity. For those who have been watching, I cannot believe how much of a sucker Dave is and why on Earth can't he see that Charla is a stone-cold bitch who would gladly feed him to hungry dogs for a mere trifle? I want to slap him in the face.
Sadly, I'm merely projecting. I know who needs the facial-slapage and if I wasn't worried about somehow dropping my remote, I'd dish it out but good.
Watching these shows, in the end, is a lot like looking through pop-magazines. You see these better-looking, richer, and (more and more) frequently younger people having the time of their lives, and yet you can see that their excitement is at best like the swirling rainbow sheen of a soap bubble - beautiful, inspiring, magic, but hollow, transparent, and then gone.
I can't help but feel uglier, more alone, more pathetic. I look at myself and I realize I'm the opposite of an anorexic, whatever that is. Everyone on TV is bigger than me. I bet even Urkel could beat my ass. I rarely move without some kind of pain somewhere. These superhuman barbies and kens jump around like they're made of cybernetic steel, flying into just about everything with a laugh (and a bud light). I sit down in an ergonomic chair and it feels like someone is running a garden weasel down my spine.
I really should stop watching TV. At least the TV that makes me want to slash my wrists with a set of brand new Ginsu knives. It hurts. Hurts so good?
Maybe my friend was right.
Posted by Matt at September 18, 2003 10:17 PMI hear ya man. I dont understand why some people have so much ENERGY!! I feel tired all the time and just leaving my house to do something seems like a huge effort. I don't get it.
Posted by: d0g_p00p at September 19, 2003 04:39 PMMy beliefs are truth to me, but not to everyone else? That makes me different from everyone else how? bah.
Posted by: Matt at September 19, 2003 03:20 PMI disagree, you hold on to your beliefs rather than accept truth. Myabe your beliefs are truth for you, but not to everyone else. I am believing that this is a conversation and not a blog comment dialogue. I am not trying to attack you or put you down here, let that be clear. we shoudl talk this one out along with all the other crap.
Posted by: scratchymonkey at September 19, 2003 02:32 PMI invite truth into my life. Frequently, truth hurts. Many people mistake that for an invitation to PMITE. Even more people assume I don't mind.
(PYITE = Punch You In The Eye), I'll leave the other one for you to figure out.
Posted by: Matt at September 19, 2003 11:15 AMI also have told you a number of times that you are a masochist. You are. You invite pain into your life - both physical and emotional. Sometimes it makes me sad, other times I realize that I can PYITE and you won't mind.
Posted by: scratchymonkey at September 19, 2003 10:18 AM