I love Denali. I love her more than it's possible for me to put into words. Why? You ask me these foolish questions from a place that doesn't hold a vista encompassing the terrain I'm speaking from. I love her past understanding, past reason, past my own well being. She is human, a girl, a woman, just a collection of meat and experience. She is my godess, my hope, my angel. I don't have a way to express what she means to me. These words are grossly inadequate.
I have a life without her. I have my own awareness. I see my life and my own range without her in it. I live and sustain myself without her. It's as clear to me as my life with her. Is she the one? Isn't she? I have faith, even if she doesn't. I love her, period.
I love Rose. She spits in the face of my misery and refuses to allow self-pity or despair to take root. She believed in me when I didn't. She was a beacon guiding me to the good life when I was resigned to my self-made dungeon. Without her, I never would have seen how much I have to offer. With her, I was forced to use my overwhelming personality against itself. She told me what I didn't want to listen to and I desparately needed to hear. She ushered me into a new era of my life.
She left me, with a dear john letter suitable for a bad blind date. I refused it - did I have any choice? What could one do when offered the choice of abandonment over a phantasm over a last ditch effort to grab ahold of a powerful friendship? I had no option.
So as it stands, with one who is terrified of what I stand for and another who can't understand what she has created.
I love you. listen to me, I love you.