Each era comes and goes without flags or celebration. I think things couldn't possibly be more inconcievable or more beyond my comprehesion. The ride is exhilarating, terrifying, awesome.
I'm pre-pubescent. I'm in Hawaii, alone and on the beach in shorts and sunburned to leave scars. I'm knee-deep in the beach, and I can feel the undertow of water pulling my feet out from under me. I see each wave as they come in, tugging my feet, sucking the air in front of me before the shockwave of air and water hits me and shakes me like a rag doll. There's salt water up my nose and I'm coughing it out of my mouth. I spit out pieces of shellfish as I find my footing for another round.
Is that all you have? I shout back at the wave. Raised in an odd way on Greek and Norse myths, I curse aloud at Poseidon. Is that the best you have?? And dripping and snotting all over myself I stagger with rage against the next wave with the pure rage of a child. I tell myself through salty breaths, you will never take me. Never. Nobody is here. My father is gone. My sister is gone. My mother is gone. You will never take me.
Ten feet of tidal water impacts over me, and I'm thrown head over heels into the sand. I feel a shock of nerve trees explode as my face plants itself inches into the sand. Inhaling a lungful of punishment, I grip the ground (that way is down) and find my footing. Fuck the undertow. Fuck the water. I can swim. I will never die.
Fuck you, Poseidon. You're old. Your vengence is ancient and only knows the simple costs of life. I'm part of a new world, one whose understanding uses your perspective as a springboard to greater and more violent prices.
I can't see. I blow sand and salt out of my nose and recieve your full body absolution, sending me across the beach, without outcry. My tears mix with your ocean, my rage mixes with your chaotic tide, my anger and resistance meets your overwhelming forces and is stomped with a validation of rage and mutual absolution.
Dripping with phyrric victory, I wink at you and return to my holster.
Posted by Matt at January 12, 2004 01:14 AM