It's 1:30 AM. I've had about 5 pints of Guiness, some of which I paid for, many of which I haven't. I am drunk. I read recently about what alcohol does to the human biology and frankly wasn't impressed.
Much of it was about alcohol's effect on human internals. The brain, the liver, the stomach, and so on. In many ways, I've acquired a cavalier attitude about self-destruction. It seems to me that nearly everything I do in my life tends to shorten it.
It's almost impossible to describe just how voracious my desire for female company is. You know when you have the internet at your disposal to provide any and all visual stimulus, but your consensual opinion is that you crave human intimacy, that you're in a particular position unique to a primal awareness. It's not quite I-want-my-mommy, but it's the matured guardian of such.
A terrible rent in ones capacity to feel is created. To feel fully is to feel ones innate absence of company, while inhaling the fumes of holistic existance.
I want to touch you. I want to touch myself. I want us to touch. I want to disband I.
Posted by Matt at June 4, 2004 01:40 AMi miss you period. writing, eating sushi.
Posted by: scratchymonkey at July 2, 2004 05:17 PMi miss you... writing. it's been almost a month. yes, im counting the days.
Posted by: saidy at June 27, 2004 02:59 PMGrow up.
Posted by: SaViOr at June 21, 2004 11:57 PMWhat the hell was that about D?
Posted by: d0g_p00p at June 14, 2004 08:01 PMThe smallest adult cat I have ever seen is investigating near me. A Mexican girl studies for her test tomorrow, listening to Fiona Apple. I miss you. I want to watch you sit in your chair by the computer and tell you everything. I want to hear you say - ¨Wait! A monster is trying to kill me!¨ as you click. I want to smell your house as you clean the dishes slowly, meticulously, in some way I will never understand. I want to hear you tell me about some girl, or some problem, or some person you tried to help late in the evening on a Monday night or on a Thursday at dusk. I want you to look at my face and recognize me as I am in this moment - defeated, tired, lonely, scared, impulsive, child-like and somehow better than I was before. I want to be afraid of the awkward heat of possibility after a year of isolated infancy and marinate in the sweetness of what is familiar. I want to buy you a beer and laugh about this horror, dismiss how brave we were with dishonest jokes at Jupiter. If I were there I would bring you a bouqet of boganvilla that you would not want and sing you folk songs you would stiffle too quickly by capturing my mouth. Or maybe I would just look and look and look. And then, after, I would talk and talk and talk. I would talk you to the bottom of the ocean, talk you to the roof of the world and grunt in the morning, finding your hand in my sleep.
Posted by: Denali at June 14, 2004 05:53 PMi'm all for inhaling the fumes of holistic existence
Posted by: em at June 11, 2004 02:24 PMHukkabu..... Aww never mind.
Posted by: d0g_p00p at June 10, 2004 10:06 PM