My transition is not yet complete. When it does eventually finish its business, I won't be aware of it anyway, but at least I can be marginally aware of still remaining caterpillar for the while before I become.
Typical of my life, my absence has drawn the attention my presence doesn't seem to achieve. As such, I'm writing this and hoping that it satisfies interested parties - my friends, my family, my children, myself.
2004 is not over yet and still I feel a need to reflect on it and conclude that it's "one of those years". A year where people find their forks in the road. A year where love dies and one feels a tapping on the shoulder that's love reminding you that it never dies. It's a time of shifting sands and twilights. Do you see your life changing? It certainly sees you changing and wonders if you're hearty enough yet to keep pace. What a year.
I've had my heart touched again, this time by Sasha, and what I learned from Rose has prepared me to accept what Sasha was ready to teach. Rose taught me confidence and faith. Sasha educates me on compassion and nature. Nevermind what a terrible student I am, they seem to find fertile ground where I saw barren impact sites.
Nothing could have prepared me for the bounty of fortune I have recieved from my peers, from my associates, from my family and friends and lovers. There was never any signs that could have alerted me to what was to come from these.
I've found strength, from you. I've found solace, from you. I've seen truth, from you. I've touched beyond my reach and felt past my senses. From you. I am who I have become and am flung towards who I will be because of you and no thanks, or curses, will affect my trajectories.
You are the reason that I am, and we are. And I love you.
Posted by Matt at July 3, 2004 04:05 AMSOOOooooooOOOOOO not a complaint. I'm fully McDonalds in my lovin' it.
Posted by: Matt at July 7, 2004 10:29 PMdon't complain or even post in a way that sounds like you are complaining about it. just take it and love it.
xoxo
This has become the freakin' love-in of openmatt.com.
Weird.
Posted by: Matt at July 7, 2004 03:12 PMyes yes yes peace and self realization are good. whats even better is the jared show thats on tonight. i will call you around seven to make some intense plans (like sitting and watching, but hopefully not too much seeing before the seeing). all good things...
Posted by: liz at July 7, 2004 07:39 AMI hear ya brother. You need some peace and self realization. I too am at that same crossroad and have been for many years. I hope that this is the year I can decide what fork in that road I want to take. I hope you have loaded up the map, gps, satnav and have snacks ready and are willing to take that plundge. Here is to you chief, make it worthwhile.
Posted by: d0g_p00p at July 5, 2004 08:54 PM*hug* *hug*
You are so special - what other man could have gotten me to intentionally fart in front of them???? You are teh best. You are so smort. I am glad that your love muffins are being buttered with happy sauce. You deserve good things.
Posted by: scratchymonkey at July 4, 2004 11:28 AMThe year is not over yet... just imagine the possibilities ;)
Of course, I would say the same to you.
What I´ve learned about you:
1. You´re not always wrong - in fact sometimes you´re right.
2. I like you, and I love you regardless of what I don´t like about you.
3. It was a good thing that I didn´t put on my seat belt, unlock your door and drive into the ledge of the freeway.
4. You´ve saved my sanity this year - I don´t know who I´d talk to if it weren´t for you.
-D
Posted by: Denali at July 3, 2004 05:26 PMthank you, I don't mind at all of course. I'm glad you were touched.
Posted by: Matt at July 3, 2004 01:53 PMHi, i wandered onto your page through a friends....you write beautifully, almost inspiring, as such. im interessed...i hope you dont mind...but i feel compelled to read...you....on this, your recent post i noctice that you have found this self realization of sorts. Understanding that growth comes from within, but is inspired by the heart within others...a beautiful concept....keep allowing your imagination to inspire as well. it frees the mind, and then again so does love.
Posted by: Ori at July 3, 2004 01:46 PM