I came from a place where there was little strength or foundation. I came from nothing and drew from inspiration enough to find enough purchase to continue. I was alone and I was without hope, but I had a desire to reach out and touch further than I knew. I had no notion of what my purpose was, yet I persisted with some perverse idea that my existance would yeild... more.
I was lucky. I found enough solidity to build myself. I had good teachers who presented moral hand and footholds. It was no decision on my part, but rather a combination of luck of intuition that led me to climb their leads. I held close primal notions like I must survive and I must create and I must assist. Although my notion of family and community was fragmented, it was tested and tried constantly in a crucible of ignorant youth.
I'm older now. There is a me now, one who makes decisions and judgements. I have a perspective, and it's recursive only insofar as it's certainty about tentative understanding. I don't know anything. I may not ever know anything. But I also do not hesitate to understand or place judgement. I have made the distinguishment between uncertainty and doubt, and uncertainty has won.
Without truth, without knowledge, without certainty, I am without recourse. I rely on you. You are like me, and you are me. I need you as much as I need myself. You are the extra eyes, the extra minds, the extra vision that I need if I hope to continue without being lost. Your experience is as critical to me as it is dear to yourself, and more precious to me for it's exceptions. I need you more than you will appreciate, and more than is understandable.
Posted by Matt at August 7, 2004 03:23 AM