"This is basically my first time throwing a big party..anything else?"
1. Have a sober person to talk to police, who is GOOD with police - no straightedge punk who thinks "pig" is synonymous with "cop" because he won't understand why the party got shut down.
2. Hide your valuables. People bring friends, friends bring sticky fingers. Also, drunk people are heat seeking missiles for fragile things. Believe it.
3. Have a supply of grocery bags (the little plastic ones) to serve as barf-bags. You can hide these just about everywhere so they are always on-hand - and trust me there WILL BE VOMITING.
4. Provide ashtrays or gravity will supply it for you all over your fucking house/yard/center.
5. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM TEQUILA.
6. Cheap tequila is worse for your party than under-the-sink rat poison. (see above)
7. If possible, invite your neighbors. It's harder to call the cops on a party you were invited to, and most of those bastards won't come anyway.
8. Hide "your" drink. Bottle of Jack, sixer of Corona, whatever the fuck it is hide one of it for the end of the evening when everything has been drank, snorted, stuffed up ass, etc. You'll be happy that at least YOU still have a drink - and it's value will not be lost on drunk girls looking to "party."
9. Provide as much transit as possible. Post cab company numbers all over the fucking place, try to get people to carpool/designated driver. I have a dead relative who killed herself driving drunk, and a relative who watched her friend die in front of her trapped in car behind a drunk - trust me, you don't want THAT kind of story associated with your awesome bash.
10. Lastly, make sure you have lieutenants who can take over guard/cleanup/store run/etc. duty so you actually get a chance to party. Offer them pick of the bitches or whatever you have, but you don't want to be herding cats all night - and you will be without help.
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Posted by: ailirc at January 1, 2010 06:19 PMit's not like anyone would notice on his carpet anyway. i mean even I'VE puked on his bathroom floor!!!
also, condoms are a plus. but make sure they're properly disposed of. don't want to find a gift for you under your pillow or something! EW
orange juice and clam dip always make a nice pairing with beer - goes well with carpet too!
Posted by: Kim at January 14, 2006 11:39 AMSlatts brings up a good point. Munchies should be provided to help soak up the booze in the tummy and thus hopefully prevent the vomiting. Or maybe that just gives them more to vomit up. Eeewww!
Posted by: Andrea at January 14, 2006 09:17 AMalso, i don't see ANYTHING on this list about Sunchips. if Sunchips are not provided at the party then I don't even want to be there. (wait a minute... are you saying that you don't want me at your parties???!!!)
Posted by: slatt-a-tat at January 13, 2006 04:39 PMyou left a major item of the list! CONDOMS!! where there is booze, there is likely to be easy women and men who will likely want some action.
Posted by: scratchymonkey at January 13, 2006 10:25 AMI was answering a post online about someone who was having a "big party" and wanted advice. I got an earfull of shit about my response as well...
Who cares. It's a good list and I stick by it.
Posted by: Matt at January 12, 2006 05:52 PMThis is indeed a great post, and I too am curious as to what inspired it. It's a list of all the reasons I refuse to throw a party. IMPO, parties are to be had at other people's houses, or better yet, in public venues where there are people whose job it is to clean up the mess. :-D (Fewer things get stolen/ruined that way too).
Posted by: Andrea at January 12, 2006 05:45 AMThis list is awesome. What inspired it? Anyways, you left out bathrooms, locked doors, coat/purse/shooting-up rooms, how to maintain drunkenness and still be reasonably in charge, etc.
Posted by: Kim at January 11, 2006 10:33 PM