The definition of tragedy is not the same as my understanding of the word. I looked it up before writing this so I could be clear about what the topic was and why. It seems that the modern definition, or perhaps the American definition, has descended from it's Greek roots to become a limp-wristed "something sad that happens."
A pity.
I was warned years ago by a good friend of two things. One was 9/11. The other was how my world would change were I to take a look at why 9/11 was going to happen. I didn't take that look then, and frankly I thought my friend was nuts.
Now, I'm nuts and know now that he was right on both counts. As I've spent the past 5 years examining my previous beliefs, challenging the accepted norms, and weathering the tides of righteousness I've come to see a great deal. In retrospect I'm not certain it's a vista I really appreciate.
I've been pilloried for god knows how many various views, statements, opinions, actions, and just about anything one could think of. I wince at writing god without a capital G, for memory of being corrected. Throughout these trials I've come to appreciate how little desire there is for discovering truth - regardless of what it is. One might think I'd simply give up "if it's so hard," and I've been called a yearning martyr more than once (it's lost it's sting.)
I had no idea how unwelcome my views were until they were no longer the views of my peers. Suddenly, shockingly, I found that the slightest deviance with my "open minded" associates resulted in increasing punishment levels, culminating ultimately in exile. The number of times I've been dismissed entirely without even a hearing, as if the mere sound of disagreement would be too great an offense to bear, has surprised me. I don't think it ever gets old.
Exiled, dismissed, scorned, ridiculed, and unprotected except by those from whom I would not ask it, I concede at last that my friend was right. My world has changed, and although I am lonelier for it, there is absolutely no other way I could be - foretold of my fate, I fought it every step of the way and find myself now recognizing that the struggle itself has brought about the end of that world.
Posted by Matt at September 6, 2006 03:52 PMyeah, life sucks. "be open minded, man" "live it up, man" "what, dude, you dont agree with me? you sell out! take a hike" Conform to the nonconformity or suffer the wrath of the unrighteous. knowledge is power but power corrupts. acknowledge you know nothing or be a grain of sand on a beach of overthought opinions.
Posted by: some punk kid at September 11, 2007 01:27 PMI'm still here to chat with buddy. Hey you have opened my eyes to a couple of things that I would have outright dismissed a few years ago.
Posted by: d0g_p00p at October 20, 2006 06:22 AMOne of the few things I remember from my undergraduate classes:
Respect those who are searching for the truth;
Beware of those who have found it.
you should come to san diego; try someplace new. it would be a whole new gruop of people to feel hopeful about and, ultimately, betrayed by. and you can smoke more freely.
bring my hat when you come.
Posted by: slatts at September 8, 2006 08:13 AMi'm going to comment by not commenting. i am glad you've decided to write again, tho.
:)
Posted by: lily at September 6, 2006 07:32 PM