I honestly feel like I'm going to die. It's been almost every day feeling like this, like I'm stuck in a nightmare that I know isn't real. It's as if every moment I could wake up and start my day telling people what an incredibly fucked up dream I had. Maybe I shouldn't eat hot dogs before bed.
I read that almost everything I'm thinking and feeling is completely typical of everyone in my situation. The advice is boringly universal. Let it out. Feel your feelings. Don't call them. Keep your routines. This. Too. Will. Pass. And yes, I know. It's not my first rodeo and it won't be my last.
I'm a fool for reading her LiveJournal. How perfect is it her last few posts were about how painful it was to dump me... last year. I'm a fool for going through my photos, searching for something, some trace or hint of what went wrong.
Was it then? She looks happy. What about this time? She looks happy there also. I wonder if it was this or that or this or that or and it doesn't matter because it's all in the past. The now is this. This here.
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Posted by: puakan at September 13, 2010 02:24 AM